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 The Joke Thread!

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Baron Von Aardvark
Paranaturalist
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Posts : 1005
Join date : 2013-03-29

PostSubject: The Joke Thread!   Mon Apr 01, 2013 12:27 am

In honor of april fools day, I am pleased to announce the joke thread. Tell me your jokes! I don't care how corny they are. In fact, the cornier the better! Do it! Here's one to start you off.




On a Saturday morning, three boys come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table. Their mother asks the oldest boy what he'd like to eat.

"I'll have some fuckin' french toast," he says. The mother is outraged at his language. She hits him and sends him upstairs.

When she calms down, she asks middle child what he wants. "Well, I guess that leaves more fuckin' french toast for me," he says. The mom is livid. She smacks him and sends him away.

Finally, she looks at the youngest son and asks him what he wants for breakfast.

"I don't know," he says meekly, "but I definitely don't want the fuckin' french toast!"


Last edited by Von Aardvark on Mon Apr 01, 2013 12:32 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Typos Galore!)
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Ars Nova
New Kid
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Posts : 88
Join date : 2013-03-29

PostSubject: Re: The Joke Thread!   Mon Apr 01, 2013 3:50 am

An Alakazam walks into a bar.

There's no Counter.
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Leo M. R.
Spectral
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Posts : 911
Join date : 2013-03-28

PostSubject: Re: The Joke Thread!   Mon Apr 01, 2013 5:33 am

Jimmy Wales walks into a bar. [citation needed]
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Snarks
New Kid
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Posts : 80
Join date : 2013-03-25

PostSubject: Re: The Joke Thread!   Mon Apr 01, 2013 8:55 am



I'll be here all night stealing jokes from others


Last edited by Snarks on Mon Apr 01, 2013 10:51 am; edited 1 time in total
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YoungOldCatCreeper
New Kid
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Posts : 60
Join date : 2013-04-01

PostSubject: Re: The Joke Thread!   Mon Apr 01, 2013 9:58 am

This is a long and stupid one:

Joey was asked to name the first four letters of the alfabet. He didn't know, so after school he went home and wanted to ask his family.

Joey went to the living room where his father was watching football (and for the Amaricans I mean soccer!) and asked: "Dad, what's the first letter of the alfabet?"
The team scored, Joey's father yelled: "GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!!!"

Joey left for the kitchen where his mother was bussy cutting veggies. Joey asked:
"Mom, what is the second letter of the alfabet?"
Just at that moment his mother had cut her finger and "replied" with a loud: "Sh*t!!!"

Joey went upstairs to ask his sister, she was playing with barbies.
"Sis, what is the third letter of the alfabet?" Joey asked.
His sister didn't pay attention to Joey, just like mom and dad. So she continiued playing and sang:
"At the barbie school, at the barbie school!"

(apperently everyone hates Joey, maybe because he's doesn't know things like the letters of the alfabet, but we're not there yet, we have... one letter... to go...)

Joey went to his brothers room. He was watching cartoons, when Joey asked:
"Bro, what's the fourth letter of the alfabet?"
His brother was so absorbed in his cartoon that he didn't respond. He did sing though:
"NANANANANANANANANANANANA BATMAAAAAAAN!!!"

Joey was all set and went to school the next day.
His teacher asked him the letters, and Joey started:

"GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!!!"

"What?!",said the confused teacher.

"Sh*t!!!"

"where did you learn that?!"

"At the barbie school, at the barbie school!"

"who do you thing you ARE?!!!"

"NANANANANANANANANANANANA BATMAAAAAAAN!!!"

This must be the worst thing I have ever done to the interwebs....
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Erie, Man of Danger
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Posts : 2026
Join date : 2013-03-26

PostSubject: Re: The Joke Thread!   Mon Apr 01, 2013 2:35 pm

2 cannibals are eating a clown. One sez to the other "Does this taste funny to you?"
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DarkeWolf
New Kid
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Posts : 9
Join date : 2015-07-03

PostSubject: Re: The Joke Thread!   Sat Jul 04, 2015 2:25 am

Today, I decided to make a belt out watches. It was a waist of time.
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Lazybones
New Kid
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Posts : 41
Join date : 2014-09-28

PostSubject: Re: The Joke Thread!   Sat Jul 25, 2015 11:08 pm

One night a priest, a rabbi, and a whale walk into a bar.

The bartender asks the priest, "what'll you have to drink?" The priest says, "Well, I believe that Jesus Christ died for our sins and his blood became the wine we drink, so I'll have some holy wine."  And the bartender poured him his drink.

The bartender asks the rabbi, "what'll you have to drink?" The rabbi says, "Well, I don't believe that wine is holy blood, but I do like wine! So I'll have some un-holy wine." And the bartender poured him his drink.

The bartender asks the whale, "what'll you have to drink?" The whale says "AAAAAaaaaaooooOOOOOEEEeeeeeee OOOOOOOOO uUAAAA eeeeeeEEOOOOOOOOOOOAAA"
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OntheCeiling
New Kid
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Posts : 44
Join date : 2016-02-11

PostSubject: Re: The Joke Thread!   Sat Feb 13, 2016 10:02 pm

oh boy. I found my natural habitat

Is your refrigerator running?
punchline:
 
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PretenseAndPoison
Seeing Shades
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Posts : 222
Join date : 2016-06-05

PostSubject: Re: The Joke Thread!   Fri Sep 23, 2016 2:03 am

Because I just made a post in another thread that relates to this particular joke contextually-

How do you make a seal airtight?

Ask it to hold its' breath!
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