I like detail
as for Jo, hears an example of how girly she is. She gets barbie and dolls and then they go and have a wrestling match to descide who gets to wear the new dress.

Eragon5055 wrote:

I like detail
as for Jo, hears an example of how girly she is. She gets barbie and dolls and then they go and have a wrestling match to decide who gets to wear the new dress.

Yup, that sounds just about awesome. And in the process the dress is ripped.

StretchyBrush wrote:

Eragon5055 wrote:

I like detail
as for Jo, hears an example of how girly she is. She gets barbie and dolls and then they go and have a wrestling match to decide who gets to wear the new dress.

Yup, that sounds just about awesome. And in the process the dress is ripped.

This gives me an idea. I'm writing a short story.

A novelist! Good luck!

Here ya go, let me know what ya think https://docs.google.com/document/d/1l6sjZZrR0O2QrXebKLIkxadFz2CnoAIOav_Lwb76r1s/pub

Eragon5055 wrote:

Here ya go, let me know what ya think https://docs.google.com/document/d/1l6sjZZrR0O2QrXebKLIkxadFz2CnoAIOav_Lwb76r1s/pub

This. Is. Adorable.
HOW CAN IT BE SO CUTE/FUNNY/SAD/AMAZING?!
You have a talent. A big one.

I love how the dead gangster asked all the questions I was thinking. Brilliant!

StretchyBrush wrote:

Eragon5055 wrote:

Here ya go, let me know what ya think https://docs.google.com/document/d/1l6sjZZrR0O2QrXebKLIkxadFz2CnoAIOav_Lwb76r1s/pub

This. Is. Adorable.
HOW CAN IT BE SO CUTE/FUNNY/SAD/AMAZING?!
You have a talent. A big one.

I love how the dead gangster asked all the questions I was thinking. Brilliant!

Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Maybe more of these later, I just need ideas for more shorts. This just hit me as they go.

As for Randy, I think I'll make him an official cast member, I enjoyed his character, He was originally going to be just an incedental ghost.

I tried something, and it's probably a completely other Ethan Kingston than you have in your mind. I made two upper Ethans, I didn't know how short you wanted the hair and I just want to know what needs to change. (EVERYTHING MUST CHANGE!!! And I went overkill with the lines under his eyes)
The apperence of a medium changes if a spirit posseses them, what was changed on Jo? I'm stil working on her, can I put little frillies on her dress?

Please say stop if it's a lost cause and critisise a lot I need it to improve!

That arm sleeve dealie is used primarily as a reminder of a certain fascist group that came to power near the middle of the last century, so, er, I'd leave it out?

Shit, I thought it was something you wear as a medic in the army... I should've googled it. Arg this really sucks...

YoungOldCatCreeper wrote:

I tried something, and it's probably a completely other Ethan Kingston than you have in your mind. I made two upper Ethans, I didn't know how short you wanted the hair and I just want to know what needs to change. (EVERYTHING MUST CHANGE!!! And I went overkill with the lines under his eyes)
The apperence of a medium changes if a spirit posseses them, what was changed on Jo? I'm stil working on her, can I put little frillies on her dress?

Please say stop if it's a lost cause and critisise a lot I need it to improve!

I really like the Second version of Ethan's hair style the best, I would say though a little shorter. As for a the lines under the eyes, A little less.

The main change to Jo is her skin tone, it is getting a little tan, more 'earthy'. As for frillies, they probably woudn't last long on her dress,

As for the arm band, isn't that more of a japanese thing, maybe put the cross on the bag...

Time for a long post

Mary Lingar : The Missing Mother

Ethan met Mary at a low point in his life while in High School. At the time he was 14 and a very bitter individual who felt every aspect of his life was under the shadow of his families name and expectations. He greatly resented that, especially after learning the truth about his families methods and looked for any way to fight back with out being caught. One day he descided to go to a party with people that were well known in school to drink and do drugs. Mary, who was 13 at the time, ended up at the party through a friend who was trying to be popular and had no idea about their reputation. At the party Mary ended up preventing Ethan from doing something stupid by calling him out. The two ended up enemies, then rivals, then friendemies, then evetually friends. They offically ended up dating by the end of the year. They stayed going steady despite her parents who majorly disapproved because they were bitter against the Kingston family for buying out a buisness they used to work for a long time ago, causing the family to struggle for many years. When she got pregnant at 16, it was the last straw and threatened to disown her if she didn't break up with him, they pushed for her to abort the baby as well. Ethan promised to protect her and support her child even if she decided to leave him, proposing on the spot. She said yes and convinced him to have the wedding after the childs birth. Then the events of the hospital took place and she disappeared.

Ethan owes Mary for becoming the person he is today, she helped wipe away most of his bitterness, helped him realise his desire to be a doctor and help people, and gave him the courage to pursue his goal despite his families protests. She was the exact opposite to him in every way. While he was stern and professional looking with a serious attitude to boot, she was punkster, piercings, short mohawk and dark attire with a mischevous and adventurous personality to boot. They were known as the 'Oddest Couple' in school. They rubbed off each other bringing a more playful side of Ethan and toned down Mary's rebelous nature. Her disappearance hit Ethan hard, his family believing she had runaway and left the child to him to avoid responsibility, her family though she was dead and blamed him for not saving her from the collapse of the hospital. Ethan decided he would live for the new born Joan Willa Kingston, and give her the best life he could possibly had to offer.

There are no words to express my urge to glue my face to the computer till you post more stuff.

Soroya123 wrote:

There are no words to express my urge to glue my face to the computer till you post more stuff.

Anyone in particular before you glue your face?

Well I like your writing style for one, and I also love the characters! Especially Jo, I don't know if you've ever watched a show called Eureka, but there was a character named Jo Lupo who was this awesome butt kicking gal, who was the deputy sherif for a while. She was tough as nails, and I think about little Jo Kingston growing up in a similar badass manner.

Glad you like my characters. How 'bout the Spirit inside of Jo?

The spirit inhabiting Joan Kingston is a powerful entity, alien in its ways of thinking. It does not understand words or speak but it conveys its intent through emotion and action. The spirit form is of a humanoid woman, three stories tall, with skin that is tan like the dry earth in the sun and it garb barely covers its figure and its made of granit, embedded with various jewels. It's face is featureless and its hair flows long to the back of its neck and is the color of moss. This spirit was one of the two that fought the battle at the hospital of Jo's birth, its territory felt threatened by the opposing spirit which is not easy to do. The spirit slow to act, but unstoppable in motion. The world it creates inside Jo's mind layers reality as if it has been built by mud and hand, the sun shining over the land and great landmasses floating in the sky. From its time with Jo, it is learning to understand humanity through the eyes of a child and may one day be able to communicate back.

O-O. That is so much deeper than I would have made the character. Wow. Wow wow. I love your writing even more now.

When I get around to it, I'll have more short stories and maybe even another chapter in the longer story I have posted, got a couple of ideas, nothing solid yet.