Corrupt The Wish

Paranaturalist Posts : 1389 Join date : 2013-03-29

You understand how that's bad. You understand a lot of things. Your understanding prevents you from functioning as an elder god.
I wish everything changed.

Paranaturalist Posts : 1302 Join date : 2013-03-29

Everything changes...by the fact the world implodes. Congrats. You are responsible for the death of everything existing on this planet.

I wish that learning languages was easy.

Paranaturalist Posts : 1005 Join date : 2013-03-29

It is, but consequently creating languages is also easy. There are so many languages, and so many more being created so often, that just keeping up with the languages you'll need for daily life is highly frustrating and exceedingly time consuming. This never would have been a problem is languages weren't so darned simple, huh?

...also, the United States of America was never formed, as the lack of a reliable code language made the revolution impossible. Woops!

I wish for the mythical substance of alchemical perfection: the philosopher's stone.

Paranaturalist Posts : 2026 Join date : 2013-03-26

You receive the stone only to find out that the myths greatly over exaggerate. It turns lead into, well lead, but with a slight change of color shade. And the elixir of immortality its supposed to produce is Gatorade.

I wish for pizza.

Paranaturalist Posts : 1302 Join date : 2013-03-29

You get pizza...but it's covered in excrement.

I wish for space dragons to be my loyal subjects.

Paranaturalist Posts : 1389 Join date : 2013-03-29

You recieve a pizza. Upon eating it, you are no longer able to seperate people frim animals. Everything we as a species do in our daily lives becomes bizarre, terrible, and alien.
Should have made sure the squid topping wasn't actually cthulu-tentacle. Alas for a world that can never be.
You receive command of the space dragons. They live across the universe and we have no means of timely communication with them. They while out their days confused and without orders, as your messages rapidly lose data through out their immeasurable sending time.
I wish for fat and salt.

New Kid Posts : 23 Join date : 2013-10-08

You are suddenly turned into a person so fat and large you can't even leave your house. And the only things you eat are covered in salt.

I wish I was surrounded by sexy/hunky gay men.

Paranaturalist Posts : 2026 Join date : 2013-03-26

You are surrounded by sexy Hunky Gay Men. Which promptly explodes cause the universe can't handle such a concentration of such men in one point.

I wish to fix the universe.

New Kid Posts : 23 Join date : 2013-10-08

The universe is fixed only for it to explode a few seconds later

I wish I knew what to wish for

Seeing Shades Posts : 155 Join date : 2013-06-01

You gain the knowledge of what to wish for. ALL the knowledge. The stream of information involved is too much for your mind to process all at once and it overheats and dies.

I wish for whirled peas.

New Kid Posts : 124 Join date : 2014-09-22

Granted. As you sit at the dinner table with your peas, a tornado manifests over your house and rips through the roof, whirling away you, your peas, and everything else in your home.

I wish I could eat anything without getting fat.

Paranaturalist Posts : 1302 Join date : 2013-03-29

You can eat anything without getting fat, however without fat you become impossibly thin. The world as we know it is destroyed and food becomes scarce. You die from lack of reserve fats in your body. But hey, you looked skinny 'till the end Wink

I wish for a puppy

Seeing Shades Posts : 155 Join date : 2013-06-01

You get a puppy. And through puppy-wish recursions, you get another puppy. And another. And another. You get an infinite series of puppies which fills the area around you. You are buried and crushed under the weight of the all the puppies.

I wish for the perfect pun.

Paranaturalist Posts : 1005 Join date : 2013-03-29

It turns out the perfect pun is the one that's followed by a "ch". You get socked in the face!

Spoiler:

I wish for a castle in the sky.

New Kid Posts : 124 Join date : 2014-09-22

Granted. A castle appears in the sky! Right above your head. It is quickly descending. It hurtles toward the ground at tremendous speed and there is nothing you can do to avoid it. As the castle slams into the earth you are crushed beneath several tons of stone.

I wish that I could never get sick.

Seeing Shades Posts : 155 Join date : 2013-06-01

You can never get sick, but are now a disease super-carrier. Your every breath spread the plagues of a thousand lifetimes.

I wish the Moon would drift away from the Earth.

Paranaturalist Posts : 2026 Join date : 2013-03-26

The moon does, but the Earth and the moon get back together once they realized their true love for each other. OTP

I wish for Steak.

New Kid Posts : 124 Join date : 2014-09-22

Your wish is granted, steak.

I wish I could manifest mental images into reality at will.

Seeing Shades Posts : 155 Join date : 2013-06-01

You can, but find you can only imagine wheels of cheese.

I wish for long, spiraled horns.

New Kid Posts : 124 Join date : 2014-09-22

Spoiler:

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Granted. You grow enormous spiraling horns. All over your body. They grow to be huge and continue to grow. Piercing walls ceilings and floors alike until you find yourself hopelessly anchored in place, completely immobile but for your eyes so that you may observe with sadness the destruction you have wrought.

I wish i could devour galaxies.

New Kid Posts : 71 Join date : 2014-07-21

Granted, but you are inevitably defeated by a joke character.

Spoiler:

I wish for endless bacon.

Paranaturalist Posts : 1302 Join date : 2013-03-29

Squirrel girl aint no joke ya know, she's badass.

You get endless bacon. There's bacon in your car, bacon in your tub, bacon bacon bacon. There's so much of it that you become sick of the sight, taste and smell of bacon, however you can never be rid of it.

I wish to be a sorcerer

New Kid Posts : 7 Join date : 2014-04-09

You become a sorcerer moth, and fly into a lightbulb repeatedly

I wish to have a bunny

New Kid Posts : 124 Join date : 2014-09-22

You have a bunny. It's enormous and voracious and eats everything in sight. And it's seen you. Run.

I wish magic were real.

Seeing Shades Posts : 155 Join date : 2013-06-01

Magic is real and everyone has it but you. People think you're weird and wrong for not having it and eventually you are exiled to a different plane of reality.

I wish humans had the color range of vision of the mantis shrimp.