That happens. You then slowly go fat and lazy since there is no longer anything to motivate you so you can't move.

I wish for a mutal and benefitial allience between the shark people and the cat scientist planet so that nothing can stand in their way. Muahahaha!!!!

The alliance is formed, and nothing stands in your way. After all, the vast void of space could very well be called nothing, and it stands very much in your way. I wish for meat.

You are sent to a correctional facility on tumped up charges, surprisingly, you are found guilty and sentenced to life in prison, your cell mate is a rather muscular man who takes pride in showing you his tatoos, and his name, is "meat"

I wish for the ability to get healthy from whatever food i eat, no matter how much i eat

You get the ability you wanted. However, all the food you eat from now on tastes horribly, horribly to your disliking.

I wish I was better with technology.

Your wish has been granted! But now thousands of grannies stalk your telephone and invade your house, they all want you to fix their computer "problems" ("my pasword keeps turning into dots when I enter it!" that kind of stuff) You are downtrodden and thus died.

I wish for a immortal sloth as a pet, who my soul will be reincarnated into.

It smells.
I wish I didn't have to do anything

You are now fully paralyzed and can do absolutely nothing.

I wish Asssprite was the king of the games the games forum.

In order for someone to reach the top, someone has to hit bottom. You become a street rat, while I assume the crown.
I wish to have everything I desire.

You have everything you desire. However, the sheer amount of stuff you have overwhelms your life.

I wish my question will be answered in a short, concise, polite, intelligent, and relevant way.

It will, if you ask the right person.
I wish I were omniscient.

Logic Bomb ensues. You Go Mad From The Revelation, as There Are Things Man Was Not Meant To Know. Your Head A Splode.

I wish I know how to resolve paradoxes.

You know the method, but the technology required is far beyond you. I wish I could time travel.

You can time travel, but Schrödinger's Cat appears for some reason and take you away into its box AND does not take you away into its box at the same time. Logic Bomb ensues again.

I wish I can make good psychological thriller stories.

You can, but they are too scary to show the world. Your proofreader collapses int the fetal position, gibbering.

I wish I was on my laptop and not my mobile.

You are now on your laptop. Literally - you trip over while carrying it, smashing it on the concrete as you land on top of its remains. Bet you weren't expecting that.

I wish I were immortal.

You are. You watch as every star within the universe burns up the rest of its fuel. There is no life, except for you, no light, no heat, nothing to eat, nothing to drink. You are alone, and will always be alone.
I wish I wasn't late.

You aren't late. To your execution.

I wish I could multitask better

You end up with twice as much work as you have now. I wish I graduated two years early.

Granted! You graduate early from Hollywood Upstairs Medical College sans 1 kidney.

I wish for a better ending to Mass Effect 3.

It gets a better ending. And ending so good, they decided to not ruin it by not making any more Mass Effect games, ever.

I wish I knew what makes W!tch wary of Guru Gloin.

Granted! You learn the truth, but its overwhelming power is akin to the ark of the covenant, and your face melts off.

I wish I knew what made W!tch wary about Guru Gloin...

You do and it scars you for the rest of your life. You are never happy again.

I wish had encyclopedic knowledge about everything.

You do, but sadly, Logic Bomb ensues. There Are Things Man Was Not Meant To Know. You Go Mad From The Revelation. Your Head A Splode.

I wish I knew more about you guys in real life. Like, what you guys are like, what you do and how you do them, stuff like that.

Granted! They're... about as dull as you'd expect.

I wish for peace and happiness for the next poster.