Attack the next poster!

Paranaturalist Posts : 2026 Join date : 2013-03-26

Good thing I was 2d at the time (don't ask). After sending GOvnah a get well card, I use a piece of paper to give the next poster a paper cut.

New Kid Posts : 6 Join date : 2013-03-29

I was squeezing lemons so the pain is insane. I scream a sonic scream at the next poster.

Spectral Posts : 911 Join date : 2013-03-28

I simply open Atlas Shrugged and get absorbed in reading the first half of the book, ignoring any sounds whatsoever. Upon reaching the infamous broadcast speech, I throw the book at full power at the next poster!

Seeing Shades Posts : 155 Join date : 2013-06-01

1 D3FL3CT TH3 BOOK W1TH MY C4N3.
B31NG US3L3SS TO 4 BL1ND P3RSON, 1 THROW TH3 BOOK 4T TH3 N3XT POST3R.

Paranaturalist Posts : 1005 Join date : 2013-03-29

I catch the book and throw it back at gC because she didn't come up with a new attack and just perpetuated the last one.

I then take out a Tommy gun and bombard the next poster with bullets.

Paranaturalist Posts : 1389 Join date : 2013-03-29

The bullets put holes in my mickey mouse ears. I thank you and give you a handshake because they are in the exact same pattern as Ms. Hyweerms.

I speak in a thick and ridiculous fake accent to the next poster, leaving them filled with a deep-seated anxiety over what I was trying to say.

Seeing Shades Posts : 155 Join date : 2013-06-01

1 TR34T TH3 ACC3NT 4S P4RT OF TH3 ROL3PL4Y 4ND 1GNOR3 1T.

1 1MP4L3 TH3 N3XT POST3R W1TH MY C4N3.

Paranaturalist Posts : 1389 Join date : 2013-03-29

I die. My death was neither just nor heroic, so I come back to life.
I do some sort of hopey thing on the next poster, leaving them a sudden inexplicable urge to slap their own face.

Paranaturalist Posts : 1005 Join date : 2013-03-29

I slap my own face. It's no big deal, really. Might as well.

I use my position in the spectral mafia to put out a hit for the next poster!

Spectral Posts : 952 Join date : 2013-03-31

Congratulations you've killed me, but my son grows up to an anti hero and karate chops the next poster in the neck

Seeing Shades Posts : 155 Join date : 2013-06-01

1 SENSE H1M COM1NG 4ND DUCK H1S CHOP.

1 R34DY 4 NOOS3 FOR TH3 N3XT POST3R.
Attack the next poster! - Page 5 A9v2o0

S3N4TOR L3MONSNOUT ON TH3 SC3N3 FOR D3MONSTR4T1ON PURPOS3S.

Paranaturalist Posts : 2026 Join date : 2013-03-26

Ha!, sharks don't have necks to hang so I slip out.

I then chuck Senator Lemonsnout strapped with high explosives at the next poster.

New Kid Posts : 6 Join date : 2014-11-18

Oh? What's thi-- *FWOOOOOM*

I fire tangentially connected evidence at the next poster.

New Kid Posts : 7 Join date : 2014-11-02

I use A barrage of internet debate and deflect the evidence off of my skull!

I set my demon minions on the next poster.

Spectral Posts : 952 Join date : 2013-03-31

I awake from my hundred year slumber fully clothed in my paladin gear, with my holy magics your demons are defeated

I fire a holy arrow at the next poster

New Kid Posts : 2 Join date : 2015-01-23

Because I'm not a demon, it doesn't really do much.
It kinda hurts though.

I show the next poster a video of something stupid they did and thought nobody would ever know about.

New Kid Posts : 5 Join date : 2015-01-23

I laugh raucously and then deploy the EMP. There will be no evidence.

I lurk beneath the bedroom floorboards of the next poster with two jars, one of honey and one of fire ants.

New Kid Posts : 12 Join date : 2015-01-27

I bathe in the honey and fire ants as I am canonically known to do on a regular basis. It is a blissful, simple pain that I have come to enjoy. I writhe in happiness.

I set all of the next poster's clocks three hours behind and steal the instruction manual so they cannot reset it!

Seeing Shades Posts : 155 Join date : 2013-06-01

I own no clocks, on the account of being blind and having no discernible use for them.

I stab the next poster with my cane-sword.

New Kid Posts : 12 Join date : 2015-01-27

I parry with my novelty sword-cane and attempt to absorb the next poster in to my collective conscious mind

New Kid Posts : 6 Join date : 2014-11-18

WE BECOME ONE, THE HIVEMIND SHALL BE TRIUMPHANT!

I show my Lawyer's Badge to the next poster, hoping they'll die of shame or something.

Seeing Shades Posts : 155 Join date : 2013-06-01

You cannot possible hope to out-shame a budding Legislacerator in the field of trumped-up qualifications.

I direct this shameful conduct to his Tyranny and declare the next post guilty and fit for execution.

Paranaturalist Posts : 1006 Join date : 2015-10-22

Startled, my magics activate and an illusion falls over me, making me look like someone else.

Once the executioner/whoever are out of sight, I throw a poisoned dagger at the next poster.

Spectral Posts : 533 Join date : 2015-02-17

I catch the dagger in midair by the hilt, and am SO surprised that I actually pulled that off that I play with it, twirling it in my hand, and accidentally prick myself with the posioned tip anyway.

I stumble over to the next poster saying "Help...help, I've been poisoned...I need help...I ne--hellothisisforyou" and attempt to stab them with the dagger.

Paranaturalist Posts : 1006 Join date : 2015-10-22

Unfortunately for you, I was busy examining my pool of acid, in the middle of it of course, so you are slowly being corroded and drop the poisoned knife.

However, the poison and the acid and the metal cause an unexpected chemical reaction, and the resulting explosion sends everything flying in all directions, and sends a lot of very sharp shrapnel in the direction of the next poster!