Attack the next poster!

New Kid Posts : 6 Join date : 2014-11-18

WE BECOME ONE, THE HIVEMIND SHALL BE TRIUMPHANT!

I show my Lawyer's Badge to the next poster, hoping they'll die of shame or something.

Seeing Shades Posts : 155 Join date : 2013-06-01

You cannot possible hope to out-shame a budding Legislacerator in the field of trumped-up qualifications.

I direct this shameful conduct to his Tyranny and declare the next post guilty and fit for execution.

Paranaturalist Posts : 1006 Join date : 2015-10-22

Startled, my magics activate and an illusion falls over me, making me look like someone else.

Once the executioner/whoever are out of sight, I throw a poisoned dagger at the next poster.

Spectral Posts : 533 Join date : 2015-02-17

I catch the dagger in midair by the hilt, and am SO surprised that I actually pulled that off that I play with it, twirling it in my hand, and accidentally prick myself with the posioned tip anyway.

I stumble over to the next poster saying "Help...help, I've been poisoned...I need help...I ne--hellothisisforyou" and attempt to stab them with the dagger.

Paranaturalist Posts : 1006 Join date : 2015-10-22

Unfortunately for you, I was busy examining my pool of acid, in the middle of it of course, so you are slowly being corroded and drop the poisoned knife.

However, the poison and the acid and the metal cause an unexpected chemical reaction, and the resulting explosion sends everything flying in all directions, and sends a lot of very sharp shrapnel in the direction of the next poster!

Paranaturalist Posts : 1006 Join date : 2015-10-22

...As all the posters mysteriously disappeared, the shrapnel all fly around the globe, then crash into each other. However, one piece was a bit ahead of the other shrapnel, and it continues flying to hit me!

But I duck, and if flies over my head to hit the next poster.

Spectral Posts : 952 Join date : 2013-03-31

I ball up the shrapnel with my magic and dunk it on the next poster

Paranaturalist Posts : 1006 Join date : 2015-10-22

I pull out a portal, literal black hole style, and close it, shutting the shrapnel in the realm of oblivion, thereby cancelling its existence.

I then open a new portal, this time to a vacuum dimension, and suck everything in front of me in, including the next poster!

New Kid Posts : 78 Join date : 2016-01-20

I stick a comically large and unrealistic toilet plunger onto the wall so as to not be sucked in.

I take out a flashlight and blind the next poster.

Paranaturalist Posts : 1006 Join date : 2015-10-22

Good thing I'm wearing sunglasses!

I close my vacuum portal and open a new portal. This time, it leads to a dimension of purely water, and I send a small tsunami towards the next poster!

Spectral Posts : 952 Join date : 2013-03-31

Using the convient power of plot armor, I withstand the assault long enough to send a main character to attack the next poster

Paranaturalist Posts : 1006 Join date : 2015-10-22

But then the main character has a psychological crisis in which they become a villain and attack everyone! I hide inside a convenient plothole, after closing the water-portal

Seeing Shades Posts : 226 Join date : 2016-06-05

I use my powers as a realized Sylph of Heart to mediate the characters' internal conflicts! They go home!

I jump up and swing a quarterstaff at the next poster!

Paranaturalist Posts : 1006 Join date : 2015-10-22

I summon a level 10 Monk (Good) from the realm of Dungeons and Dragons, who blocks the strike, then counter attacks!

Seeing Shades Posts : 226 Join date : 2016-06-05

My reflexes aren't fast enough, but I can roll with the hit and create distance for a shruiken throw!

Paranaturalist Posts : 1006 Join date : 2015-10-22

The monk, being from another realm, has disappeared, to return from whence he came.

Instead, I dive behind some rubble from the previous battles and telekinetically fling a pebble at the next poster at the speed of a bullet!