The world is now full of transvestites, everyone has both genitalia and no one is indestinguishable Congratulations.

I wish for controllable telekenisis

Wishing for the same thing twice incurs a penalty; you are cursed with uncontrollable perikinesis.
I wish for a glass of water.

The glass is so large that the pressure of the water it contains cracks it, and the shards impale and kill you.


I wish for a purple hat.

It's half a size too small and hurts your forehead.
I wish for permanent longevity.

You get what you wish for. And then you wake up... to discover you still have it. And then you wake up... to discover you still have it. And then you wake up... and start questioning your sanity.

I wish we all knew each other's countries of origin.

Granted. Everyone but you is from Uzbekistan. You suddenly feel left out.

I wish for a romantic relationship that isn't so damn complicated.

We were all originally hydrogen atoms floating through the universe when a bunch of us were crushed into a compact ball that eventually reached high enough pressures to undergo nuclear fusion into various other elements.
You are now in a steady relationship with your own left hand.
I wish I could go anywhere in the world without paperwork or effort.

You gain teleporting powers. One day, you accidentally teleport yourself to outer space. No spacesuits.

I wish everyone in the world tasted the spiciest thing in the world (whatever that might be) at the same time, with no drinks in near reach of anyone.

Because of this, the oceans dry up, ad we all die.


I wish I was a mod.

You become a mod. Everyone leaves the forum.
I wish I wasn't thirsty.

For some reason, you can't stop drinking. Until you blow up.

I wish I could divide by 0.

You can, but every time you do, the universe becomes less and less likely to contain pokemon.
I wish I was royal.

NOOOOOOO! Pokémon!!!

*ahem*

You become part of royalty, only for your people to rebel against you the following night.

I wish people world hunger was no more.

People are replaced entirely by robots.
I wish for something interesting to happen.

W!tch asks you out. You wholeheartedly agree. (Please imagine the rest of the scenario for yourself)

I wish I could control my body temperature.

You are paralyzed, but have full control over your core temperature.
I wish I was three times cooler than I already am.

Asssprite wrote:

You are paralyzed, but have full control over your core temperature.
I wish I was three times cooler than I already am.

Oh, you do become three times cooler...

...but someone, in a fit of jealousy, attacks you and you wind up ugly because of it!



I wish that I could be the world's BEST Christian evangelist!

You become the world's best Christian evangelist. However, for some reason, you're the only one left, so you kinda automatically become the best.

I wish asssprite was less cool than he already is.

That's still cooler than you are.
I wish for a dollar.

The dollar is given to you by an assassin who wishes to poison you, and the dollar's laced with poison that kills by touch.

I wish for the ability to selectively choose which minds I can/can't read at a given moment in time.

You have the ability to control a power you don't have.
I wish I could control the minds of animals.

You gain the power. Suddenly the mental voices of all the animals in the world are all that you can hear.

I wish I could appreciate Elvis Presley's music more.

You appreciate it... TOO MUCH. Becoming obsessed, eventually Elvis is all you think about. It doesn't hit you until you find yourself homeless, on the streets, humming "Blue Suede Shoes."

I wish for a harmless glass of water.

You forget how to drink.
I wish for talent.

Too vague. You become talented at something useless.

I wish for absolute control over all electronic equipment!